Chichi Miko!! Review

Title: Chichi Miko!!
Original title: ちちみこ!!
Release date: 2011-08-26
English release date: 2014-06-14
Developer: Rapapuru
English publisher: Lv1 Translations (as a fan-patch)

Holy cow! That's the only exclamation that readily comes to mind upon seeing this game. For all intents and purposes, the women in the visual novel "Chichi Miko!!" can be considered cows: they have boobs that defy gravity, they give milk and most of their dialogue consists of "oohs" and "aahs".

It's kinda obvious that "Chichi Miko!!" is a nukige that caters to two main fetishes: humongous boobs and incest. If you don't appreciate either, you will probably not like the game. On the other hand, you will probably not like it anyway, as it is a poorly executed mess.

Help, I'm missing the fourth wall.

I thought that I have already seen some of the silliest porn excuses for a plot in VNs. I was wrong - "Chichi Miko!!" (or CM from now on) takes the cake and eats it. So, there is a Milk Shrine, whose Priestess, and incidentally your Grandmother, has huge boobs and gives milk... Bear with me for a while, OK? Your family has served the Shrine for generations and now it's the time to elect a new Milk Shrine Priestess; lo and behold - your mother, aunt and cousin are competing for the position. Obviously, for a candidate to be eligible to become a new priestess, she has to have sex with someone who has the blood of Milk Shrine Priestess, namely you. Cue incest galore. And the incest will make the candidate's boobs grow and she'll start giving milk. And I'll stop here, because all I can think now is "boobs, boobs, boobs"...

Try as you might, you won't be able to hide those watermelons.

I'm sympathetic to the poor priestess candidates, as the protagonist is the only suitable sex partner and he is THE FUCKING UGLIEST SHOTA I HAVE EVER SEEN! Seriously, he looks less an adolescent human male and more of an alien prototype for the next "Mass Effect" game! And that is the main problem with the game - the art is just ugly. Please, if you are creating a fetish game, at least hire a decent artist. Some people would write the VN off just because of the giant boobs. I'm writing it off, because it's a eyesore. The sprites are ugly like the plague, though, admittedly, the CGs are not as bad and some of them can even be hot (the bondage scenes are pretty well executed).

Voice acting is mediocre to bad. Some of the seiyuu do a passable job, but Igarashi Nanako who voices Rinka needs to be gagged for the benefit of humanity. Her shrill voice makes Freddy Krueger's knife-gloves on a glass sound pleasant. Moreover, BGM is a dull and monotone drone that puts you to sleep.

Just read some goddamn hucow stories on Literotica.

Natheless, all of that is nothing against the main visual novel sin - all the routes in the game are identical! And I'm not exaggerating, nor using a hyperbole - this is 100 % true. There are four heroines. Your mother Renka, who is a laid back happy-go-lucky gal, who loves practical pranks. Your cousin Rinka is a shy virginal miko with the largest boobs among the candidates. Your aunt Momoka is an outgoing mischievous lady. And finally, the current Milk Shrine Priestess Touka - your grandmother - who loves cosplay. Outwardly it seems that all the ladies are different enough to engender suitably variable paths. Sadly, all the "plot" events happen exactly the same way between the routes and the sex scenes are also very similar, to the point that many of them are interchangeable.

Tanlines are so sexy.

Touka's path is the canon one, as the sequel is a continuation of your grandmother's route, but ironically the only route worth playing is Momoka's. Your aunt's love for anal is prominent enough, that her sex scenes are the most different from all the other's in the game. For all of the VN's bluster regarding it's fetishes, the sex scenes are dreadfully vanilla. It's all the same missionary, doggy, cowgirl and lots of tit sucking. In other words - nothing to hold the interest of a red blooded male. The endings try to come alive by introducing pregnancy fetish, but it is played so half-heartedly, that the artist doesn't even show the large bellies, or barely shows the glimpse of them. It seems CM is afraid to do anything daring and just rehashes the most commonly used sexual traits. The most noteworthy thing is one token bondage scene given to every heroine... except for your grandmother, which automatically makes her path the worst of the four.

For that matter I cannot get my head wrapped around the fact that all the ladies are so youthful looking. Even your grandmother Touka looks like she's no older than thirty. The VN never explains that. Maybe her milk has some magical properties, but if so, she should bottle the stuff and make a killing selling it. The fact she doesn't do this is another sin against the game - it fails at basic capitalism!

Just suffocate this unholy child of Wrex and Mordin and be done with it.

And finally, there is supposed to be a harem path available once you finish all the four main routes, but for the love of Zeus I have no idea how to access it. All my experimentations lead to the bad ending. If someone has any ideas, don't be shy and share.

Anyway, the game is quite terrible. There is nothing more to say regarding "Chichi Miko!!" - it's just a short game that doesn't scratch any itch. There is no reason to play it, even if you are a big boob fan. I'm sure there are better games out there that cater to that fetish.

Links of Interest

Visual Novel Database
Official Japanese site
Buy the download edition of the game on DLsite
Get the English patch

Final Verdict: 39%