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2012-05-04

We Love Master! Review

Title: We Love Master! (ご主人様だーいすき)  
Alias: Goshujin-sama Daisuki
Release date: 2008-01-25 (2011-08-01 in English)
Developer: Score
English publisher: MangaGamer

Wooohooo, sexytime! Another post and another nukige. This time with maids and as Yuuki said maid's outfit is one of ten sexiest outfits for a girl. Let's see if this title is any good as my previous run in with a Score title (Cosplay Alien) was not very successful.

So, ehem, the "plot" of this title goes something like this. Our protagonist Toshiya Yuuki is a current head of Yuuki zaibatsu and in order to hold onto this title he has to adhere to certain precepts. Mainly he has to marry in two years after ascending to the position, which is to say - the end is nigh. Not much time to find a suitable bride and by suitable I obviously mean "attuned to Yuuki's perverted desires". Toshiya decides that searching for an ideal woman is futile and would rather mold someone into a desirable character in the remaining time. To that end he pays off numerous debts to the families of three girls in his class and basically buys them as his sex slaves. Sexytime begins for realz.

The official description of our protagonist on the DVD cover paints the most accurate visage of his: "Our hero is a peerlessly deranged, perverted, fellatio-obsessed sadist, masochist, cosplay-loving sex-maniac by the name of Yuuki Toshiya". And he certainly is everything in the description, "fellatio-obsessed" being the key part. There is so much oral sex in the game, that it would make Bill Clinton proud. Me, not so much, as I would have preferred more varied sex acts, but that is not my main gripe. Main gripe will come later, for now let's focus on introducing the girls.
I would like to collar, chain you and put in a dog house to never see you again, Sakura.
Murakumo Sakura is the genki bubbly girl, always loudly expressing her opinion. She has really air-headed parents with no business sense and is purchased by Toshiya due to their fault. I am usually a big fan of a bright energetic girl prototype, but this time the design badly backfired. Sakura is the most annoying and unlikable person of the cast. Even after she mellowed to the Master and started to be affectionate with him, she still questions his every decision and complains just for the sake of complaining. I think that is my main reason for disliking her - it seems, that every H-scene had to have an obligatory whining and complaining scene attached to it courtesy of Murakumo-san.
Never knew window washing can be so erotic.
Shishiouin Hime is a spoiled rich ojou-sama DFC loli and when I say DFC, I mean it. Hime is totally flat ant it's not just another case of everyone being conveniently blind. While she starts the game as a really bland character with no interesting features whatsoever, halfway through WLM she warmed up to me and started to display flashes of genuine personality (as much as that is possible in such a game). While being the most adverse to sexual games in the beginning, by the end Hime genuinely learns to enjoy herself.
Do you have a forest down there, Toshiya?
Kuu Spitfire (I am totally cracking at her surname, especially considering how inappropriate for her it is) is an enigma. She is a total Cloud Cuckoolander that at first glance seems to be operating on completely different rules of common sense... At second glance too. She is more than eager to go along with Toshiya and his games and is a constant source of consternation for Hime and Sakura. When they refuse to accede certain demands from Master, Kuu gladly offers her services. When we delve into her backstory, we learn that she has never had any friends, but that doesn't seem to do anything with her unrepressed sexuality. As I said she is an enigma. I have finished the game and still can't understand her. There is only one thing I know - I like her the most of all girls. Maybe her name Kuu is a nod to kuudere archetype... Might be.

The last girl is Ichijou Ema and her position in the Master's household is a bit different. At the start of the game she is already the head maid for Yuuki (and his half-sister, but we learn that later). Toshiya has never committed an act of incest with her - his has only used her mouth and anus... (What, it's infailably logical!?) She takes it upon herself to mentor the three (un)lucky girls to fall within the clutches of our nefarious protagonist.
Battle Royale
If you wonder, how Toshiya manages to hold all the three ladies in his mansion unwillingly at the beginning of the game, well the answer is obviously "Battle Royale". Or just the exploding necklaces from the movie. They are duds, but it doesn't take long to convince the ladies otherwise. I also noticed a curious thing - all the necklaces are marked with card symbols. Ema is yellow diamond, Sakura is red heart, Hime is blue leaf and Kuu is green acorn. I can't image the meaning of this. Maybe there is no meaning and I'm just thinking too much, but you really want to think when the game is so fucking dumb. You just start to occupy your mind with anything to not notice that you are playing a piece of turd that drops your IQ by one point for every ten minutes spent at the screen. Yes, I didn't like the game and here are the reasons why.

The graphics are just not very good. I don't have much problems with the sprites. They are adequately presented, even though the facial expressions are not very varied and characters only have a few basic poses. Backgrounds are a worse deal. Not only are they incredibly generic, but I have a nagging feeling that free resources were used in this instance. I say that, because at least one background (city centre) is identical to that in another game "Guilty the Sin". So, either "We Love Master!" plagiarised that game or they both share some free resources. Taking cheap production values of Sin into consideration, I would say the latter is more likely.
I pity the poor guy if his asshole is really connected to his balls.
The CGs are the gravest offenders in the matter. I haven't seen such incompetence in the artist since forever. The body proportions are all wrong and look incredibly funny, mass scenes are a clusterfuck and you can't even tell where one person's body parts end and another person begins and the failures in biology are facepalm worthy. The artist takes the artistic licence in anatomy way too far and it doesn't end well. A fap-fest shouldn't encourage you to roll on the floor laughing so hard that your neighbours call the police. Another discouraging problem with HCGs is the repetition. The exactly same CGs are used for different sex scenes only with text differing betwixt them. And that is not an isolated occurrence. About 40% of the game H-content are identical repeats. That probably makes WLM the very first nukige where I skipped sex scenes while playing it. Why should I watch an identical sex scene for four times if the text is "ahhs" and "ohhs" anyway?!

Those "ahhs" and "ohhs" are way too numerous too. I don't think I remember another nukige with so much moaning. My suggestion, if you decide to play it anyway, is to turn off the sound. The voice acting is not that good anyway and the soundtrack is as forgettable as last year dreams.
A masochist's wet dream. It's a shame I'm a sadist.
A compelling plot would save this trash, but even for a nukige WLM lacks any meaningful scenario developments. The plot is not even paper thin. I reckon, that if a wall was built out of "We Love Master!" plot, α radiation particles wouldn't even be stopped. On the contrary, they would accelerate! One grace is that the game is quite easy and you don't even need a walkthrough to get all the endings and CGs. Bad news - the endings are basically slightly different variations of a harem (yes, there are no endings for individual girls) and there is no sense of an achievement when you reach either of them. 

In the end, "We Love Master!" is a low quality release that is even dwarfed by early Peter Payne nukiges. The worst thing is - this is a dreadfully boring game that is as fit for fapping as a teaching video for IKEA furniture construction. If you want to get a good nukige and are already on MangaGamer site, just get "Conquering the Queen". You won't be disappointed.

Links of Interest

Visual Novel Database
Official Japanese site
Buy the digital download version from MangaGamer
Buy a physical release at: J-list, Anime Corner Store, Rightstuf, Archonia.
Walthrough for We Love Master!

Final Verdict: 43%

2 comments:

  1. Anonymous8/6/13 13:32

    Hilarious review, especially the comment about alpha radiation. I won't be playing this game for sure. I did play Mashie no Nie as you suggested and it was an excellent game.

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    Replies
    1. Always happy to help :-)

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